things I have learned about females

• they tend to use incredible quanta of toilet paper.
  
• they have a certain expression reserved for when you decide to open the last beercan in the fridge for yourself.
  
• they have little problem using a male's hairbrush.
  
• or jackets.
  
• thankfully they stay away from a male's underwear.
  
• they know how to cook, but not how to follow a recipe.
  
• they have ways of making you feel you're wrong even when you know you're right.
  
• they have a switch somewhere with "I need attention NOW" and "I want to be left alone" on it.
  
• they love jokes targeted at males, and tell the males whenever they can.
  
• they don't take jokes targeted at females just as lightly.
  
• they do not want to get their phone calls listened to.
  
• they do want to know to whom others are speaking on the phone.
  
• they need to be told when they are looking beautiful.
  
• they do not need to be told when they are not looking beautiful.
  
• they sometimes want people to disagree with them.
  
• particularly when they are speaking of themselves in a derogatory manner.